I've been such a doomsayer lately, I desperately need to lighten up. And so ate up every word of this post by Latoya at Feministe: Five Reasons I Love Cosmo.
The number one reason?
It is like The Onion, for feminists.But let's be honest, we all read Cosmo for the sex tips. The ones Latoya reprinted are outstanding, if slightly obsessed with one basic technique:
Someone needs to tell the poor writers at Cosmo that there's a handy device that does all this at once without leaving crumbs in the bed. (Psst! It's called a cock ring! It makes the dude's "package" girthier and his erection more stable - without disturbing your hairdo or making you fat right before bikini season!)
* When fondling your man’s penis, slip a hair scrunchy around the base of it. The tight scrunchy combined with your touch creates an amazing sensation. ...
*Mak[e] a tight ring with your thumb and forefinger around the base of his penis, for[m] a second ring around the head, and then g[o] up with one hand and down with the other. ...
*Slip a glazed doughnut around his penis and nibble it off.
What's with this "package" terminology, anyway, so beloved of Cosmo editors? For me it conjures up all kinds of mental images, none of them remotely erotic. A beaten-up box delivered by UPS. A Christmas gift tied up in a shiny red bow.
Hmm, one guess where you're supposed to wrap that red ribbon - nice and tight?