Wednesday, March 19, 2008

More Evidence Joe Francis Is Slimier than a Garden Slug

Okay, you can't really fault a businessman for trying to save a buck - or a million of 'em. And while Joe Francis is many things other than a businessman (ex-con, exploiter of naive girls, and all-round creeper), he is also a businessman.

Francis had offered a million dollars to Ashley Alexander Dupre, aka "Kristen" the call girl in the Eliot Spitzer scandal, to appear in one of his "Girls Gone Wild" videos. Then someone found old footage of Dupre in his vault. Francis may be a sleaze to the very depths of his oily soul, but he's not stupid. He promptly rescinded the offer.
"It'll save me a million bucks," Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. "It's kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch."
(Source: AP)
Um, yeah. If your lottery ticket usually comes in the form of a naked human being.

Dupre did the tape while she was celebrating her 18th birthday in Miami. According to a press release from Francis:
"After fighting with a friend and getting thrown out of her hotel, Ms. Dupré sought out a nearby Girls Gone Wild bus, signed her paperwork and immediately began filming," the news release stated. "Ms. Dupré spent a full week on the GGW bus and shot seven full length tapes that included nudity and same sex contact. Dupré later took a Greyhound Bus home."
(Source: Los Angeles Times)
Now, this post is supposed to be about Francis, so that last quotation is completely gratuitous. But really. I can't imagine getting my butt thrown out of a hotel, although I've been on a few trips with people whose behavior was neither polite, quiet, sensible, nor entirely legal. (Obligatory disclaimer: Of course I personally would never behave like that, and the statute of limitations has expired anyway.) None of my co-conspirators ever got thrown out, though I have vague recollections of college marching band trips where we were told we wouldn't be welcome again. But even if I got thrown out of my hotel, would my first recourse be to seek out a nearby Girls Gone Wild bus? Would yours??

But back to our friend Jerkoff Joe. The really prime material comes at the end of the L.A. Times piece. It reads like the CV of a serial statutory rapist with a subspecialty in petty crime:
Francis, who served 11 months in a Nevada prison for two counts of tax evasion, was released a week ago from Nevada custody so he could face charges in Florida related to filming 17-year-old girls in a shower. A day later, he pleaded no contest in Florida to child abuse and prostitution charges and the judge released him on time served and fines. ... Francis still faces charges in L.A. of misdemeanor sexual battery for allegedly touching a woman inappropriately at a party.
This - and not his attempted deal with Dupre, who will never be poor again if she plays her cards right - is why Joe Francies makes the average garden slug look positively cuddly.

Photo by Flickr user Joi, used under a Creative Commons license.

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