Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Best Penis Spam Ever

I got a couple of spam emails yesterday that showed just how much can, in fact, be lost in translation. The subject lines were precious enough:
Great shlong is your main weapon
Don't be looser enlarge your machine
They also promised to enlarge my
jang Width (Girth) By upto 20%
Can someone please tell me what the heck a jang is? Maybe a contraction of jumbo wang?

What really closed the deal was their final selling point:
Gives a whole 'nother meaning to phrases like mushy love scene, doesn't it?


Rence said...

For the record, this almost made me laugh out loud in my English class.

Don't worry, that class is really boring so I spend the class on the internet. Yours is not, so I pay attention. Promise.

Smirking Cat said...

I am curious why highly illiterate individuals are in charge of sending out sexually explicit spam in the first place. Every junk email I get has mis-spelled words and barely comprehensible phrases that end with all-caps attention-getters like "ALL NUDE!!!!" They get my attention but only because the horrific spelling and grammar give me pain.

Rence said...

Well, that's mostly because spam catchers can catch the correctly spelled words, but words like "jang" it has no idea area spam. It's just your friend saying something ridiculous.

That's why the underscores are there too, because they make older spam catchers see it as one word.

Sungold said...

Rence: Good thing I don't know who your English instructor is! Believe me, I can tell who's awake and tuned in. There are a couple of guys sitting behind you who have a tendency to rest their heads on their desks - as if I'm blind to whatever happens in the back row. This is a widespread but stupid misconception - that sitting in back puts you out of the instructor's view. In fact, the opposite is true.

Smirking Cat, I think there are at least two reasons for the misspellings. One is to evade spam filters with oh-so-creative words such as C!al!s. The other is that since lots of these enterprises are located offshore, you've got non-native English speakers writing the emails.

I guess a possible third reason is they figure their customers must be dumb as dirt to buy into their scams, so they're considerately speaking the customers' language ...

Sungold said...

Rence, your comment crossed with mine - but aren't you supposed to be in class RIGHT NOW? This is the angel on your shoulder speaking, reminding you to pay attention!