Sexting TMI Tuesday

Uff da. Back in my premarital days when I was ethically eligible for a booty call, there was something called the "mobile car phone." It was anchored to your car with a 500-pound weight. It did not allow for texting. It barely permitted talking. I think if you tried to do anything sexy with it, you'd be crushed under its heft as soon as even one hand left the receiver.



1. Have you ever sent or recieved a sext message?

This would presume that I know how to text. I'm a kick-ass typist, but I require a querty qwerty keyboard.** I realize I just disqualified myself as an authority on my sexting post from a few days ago. I wouldn't mind receiving a sext message (from someone scrumptious my own age) but I probably couldn't figure out how to retrieve it. Oh, and my phone battery would surely be run into the ground. I am a walking billboard for landlines, pathetic as that is.

2. Have you ever made or recieved a booty call?

Well, this was back when phones were mostly analog, all attached to a wall jack, and still invariably owned by AT&T. But yeah. I'd just broken up with my college boyfriend and didn't foresee getting back together again. If I'd just waited a few days, my luck would've changed again. Luckily for me, I didn't wait, and I got to know the soccer legs of a workmate up closer than I'd ever hoped. (He would be worth a post or two of his own.)

3. Have you ever added or edited a word/entry to Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary or any other online reference?

I haven't added anything, but last I checked "Kittywampus" on Google, the only entry leading this blog was, in fact, Urban Dictionary.

4. At what age did you have your first consensual sexual experience?

Define sexual?

Okay, so there's not much point in nit-picking. I was a young-ish college freshman, and it all happened - everything from glorious oral sex to PIV coupling - the summer after freshman year, in the few months before I turned 19. I was so intent on moving beyond virginity, I wasn't terribly concerned with definitions.

5. What has been the greatest age difference between you and a consensual sexual partner?

Why, that would have to be my husband and long-term mate. He's six years older almost exactly. (I once had a not-quite-consensual experience with someone who might be a bit older yet, but that's a whole 'nother story, not light enough for TMI any day of the week.)

Bonus (as in optional): Why do you blog?

Umm, to embarrass myself in front of my ex-students who read this? To confirm my college friends' worst opinion of me? Actually, I think I do it to play with ideas that are otherwise outside the bounds of stodgy academic discourse. Why do I play TMI? Because I'm plum out of ideas for the moment - and the questions (or at least my answers) aren't so dreadfully shocking for my aforementioned students.

** Update: Seems I overestimate my typing skills! Well, let's just says I type faster than I think, and here's your evidence (if the rest of this blog didn't already prove it).

Sungold = Angela Davis?

So Daisy just bailed me out when I've got too much grading and class prep, and no time to develop a thoughtful post: She led me to a quiz, Which Western Feminist Icon Are You? (Daisy was bell hooks, a very cool result indeed.)

Somewhat weirdly, I came up as ...

You are Angela Davis! You were the THIRD WOMYN IN HISTORY to appear on the FBI's Most Wanted List. You are a communinist, black power-lovin' lady who shook up the United States when you refused to lie down quietly to oppression. You WENT TO JAIL! Wow. You kick so much more ass than Foxxy Brown.

Hmmm. I checked the box for wanting feminism to reflect intersectional analysis. I also consistently checked the one on attitudes toward men that stated "Men are comrades and they're fun in bed." Otherwise, I tried varying a few answers. No matter how else I answered, I kept coming up Angela.

It's mysterious because I'm no communist, not even on those days where my socialist leanings swell and grow. I think black power alone is analytically inadequate just as feminism alone cannot explain the world. I've never been to jail (though I did once pick up a friend there) and while I may well have an FBI file, I'm not sure what the file would hold apart from "friend of people who know people who embrace lefty politics. Oh, and married to a furriner."

Much as I admire Angela Davis' body of work over the years, the one time I saw her speak was an unmitigated disaster. She was trying to use a laptop in her talk, and she was clearly overwhelmed by the technology, to the point where she kept getting tangled up and lost in what she wanted to say. (It was one of those feminist empress-has-no-clothes moments, because most of the audience rhapsodized anyway, even though the talk was largely incoherent, in my not-so-humble opinoin.) I had the feeling she'd have given a fine speech, if only she hadn't felt tethered to the laptop.

But Angela I am - never mind my evident whiteness or lack of kickassness. I'll take it as a compliment. Maybe as a challenge. At the very least, it's a reminder not to let my beloved laptop get in the way of actual communicaiton.

It's So Easy Being Green

Via The Smirking Cat, my blog just got a color analysis done:

Your Blog Should Be Green

Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

I'd like to think all of that is true, even though I'm abashed about the last part. Really, it's not so much thoughtless as hostile comments that get me. Luckly for me, my commenters are a wonderfully thoughtful bunch.

The reason this blog is already green? To harmonize with garden photos, of course!

More Lattes for Me

Lately Kittywampus has been mostly quizzes, LOLcats, and me me me. Today follows in that vein, though minus the felinity, with a quiz I took (via Blue Gal):

What Breed of Liberal Are You?

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com

I obviously need to up my latte intake.

Actually, I have resumed drinking coffee again without any apparent ill effect. (I'd dropped down to homeopathic amounts of Diet Pepsi, hoping that reducing caffeine would help tame my tremor.) My hands aren't any shakier for it, and my brain is definitely less jello-like.

I still lack the energy for writing much of substance, although I'm stewing in thoughts about octuplets and reproductive rights and kinky sex and feminism and the authority of experience. (I wasn't planning to roll all of that into a single post ... but hmmm, it might be entertaining. Kinky octuplets, anyone?)

I rode my bike to work today, which I'm afraid overtaxed my limits. I taught my class, wobbled home, and spent the rest of the day on the couch, gobsmacked with fatigue. Last time I felt anything like this, I had altitude sickness after a long hike in Yosemite.

At moments like these, I sort of get why people migrate out of the reality-based community. Where's Ernest Angley when I need him? (Click on that link at your own peril.)

As always, I'm curious to see how you came out on the quiz.

My LOLcat Alter Ego: Happy Cat

Kittywampus has suffered a severe frivolity shortage lately. Today's antidote: taking the "What LOLcat Are You?" test.

I came out as Happy Cat, the original "I Can Has Cheezburger?" kitteh.

Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test ...

Happy Cat

64% Affectionate, 55% Excitable, 60% Hungry

Compared to other takers

• 65/100 You scored 64% on Affection, higher than 65% of your peers.
• 63/100 You scored 55% on Excitability, higher than 63% of your peers.
• 83/100 You scored 60% on Hunger, higher than 83% of your peers.
• 50/100 You scored 100% on Felinity, higher than 50% of your peers.

May I just brag briefly about my felinity score? Last time I scored 100% it was on the peripheral vision test I took on Monday. Time before that was probably the final exam for Intro to Material Science in spring 1983.

Obviously, neither vision nor the material world are as vital as felinity.

My kids took the quiz, too. This created a slight moment of Bad Mommydom, as I had to rush the Bear past a response featuring "buttsecks." I'm not quite ready to explain that one to a nine-year-old.

The Bear also came out as Happy Cat, which made him, well, happy. The Tiger came out as Sad Cookie Cat. He burst into tears at this result. Truth told, though, the grammar, the kind impulse, and the behind-our-backs gluttony all fit him perfectly.

Both kids also scored 100% on felinity, I'm proud to say.

Now it's your turn. Go take the "What LOLcat Are You?" test and report back, please. (If you post your results on your blog, toss us a link.) And yes, I'm talking to you, my dearly loved lurkers. :-)

Six Random Things about Me(me)

A little while back, Henry of Henry's Travels tagged me (or was that just a whisker rub?) for a "six random things about me" meme. I don't know if I can match the feline brain for sheer randomness, but here goes anyway:

1. I once played organ for a Christian Science congregation, though I'm neither an organist nor a Christian scientist. The congregation consisted of about a dozen people, average age 67, and only two who sang loudly. Unfortunately the two lusty singers tended to be about a half-beat behind the organ. It was a strictly mercenary gig; they were willing to pay $10 per Wednesday evening service and $15 for a Sunday morning. I was only 17 and those were 1981 dollars, so I felt rich indeed. It was the most I've ever earned making music.

2. I have a master's degree in engineering, which I'm guessing is true for less than one percent of women's studies professors. My field was industrial engineering - aka "imaginary" engineering, which fit me just fine. I've never worked as a "real" engineer, yet I've used that part of my education in a whole slew of ways. It taught me to pick apart statistical studies. It demystified science for me. It gave me basic knowledge that was super useful in translating technical material from German to English.

3. I was on the field at the 15-yard line for arguably the most famous and definitely the strangest play in the history of college football:



And yes, I do know the trombone player who got tackled in the end zone. He's a friend of mine. His trombone survived the tackle pretty much unscathed.

4. I'm an incorrigible slacker and underachiever. College classmates of mine (one degree of separation from me) include a Nobel Laureate in physics, a journalist who was kidnapped and executed by Al Qaida, and a cable news anchor who once dated Rush Limbaugh. All things considered, I think I'll stick with underachieving.

5. Although I'm not a very girly girl, my favorite color is purple. This started in third grade, when I had a purple dress with a pink and purple striped turtleneck collar and matching long sleeves. I also convinced my parents to paint my room lavender that year. As a result it took me a long time to understand the point of the Jenny Joseph's poem "Warning," which begins, "When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple ..."

6. I never learned to swim. Growing up landlocked and snowbound in North Dakota, I lived 30 miles from the nearest pool. One summer we were bussed there, to the little town of Gackle, and plunged into the icy water - to no avail. I only learned to dog paddle a few years later while visiting my cousins in California. I've gone white water rafting, water skiing, and snorkeling anyway. Life vests are a fabulous invention.

Contrary to the rules of this meme, I'm not gonna tag anyone else. I was always a total loser when I played tag as a kid; the only thing worse was Red Rover. (Hmm, I guess that amounts to a seventh random thing ...) If anyone decides to play along anyway, leave a comment and I'll gladly link to you in an update.